There's a Max Lucado story that I find illustrates this time of my life so well. It goes something like this:
Three men own a yacht, which they have docked in a small bay. One day they hear that a hurricane is headed their way, and they begin to discuss ways to save their boat. They come up with all sorts of plans that involve tying the boat to things, even sinking it, but then an old sea-farer tells them this: "If you want to save your boat there's only one thing to do. Take her out to deeper waters and anchor her down. The winds may toss and turn her, but the anchor holds fast and when the storm has passed, she will have survived."
The analogy is, of course, that the tossed boat is us, the storm is life, and the anchor is Christ. If you hold fast to Him, then storms come and go, but you will remain.
Frankly, on days like today, 'hurricane parenting' days, I need to hear this over and over again.
Showing posts with label Mothering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mothering. Show all posts
Friday, November 16, 2012
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Learning the alphabet by reading with Daddy.
I watched David and Samuel looking at a book today. Samuel wants to look at grown-up books a lot, preferably while sitting on a lap and getting to turn the pages. David had been paging through, I believe, The Encyclopedia of Bible Difficulties, and Samuel happily joined in.
It was a really sweet teaching moment to see. Samuel pointed at the words and I asked him what they were: "words!" he told me, and then he told me that words are made up of letters. David and I sang the alphabet song for him, and then David flipped through until he found the name Samuel and showed it to the boy. They named the letters together. It was sweet to see, and I discovered that Samuel really seems to be starting on the path to learning the alphabet, which is great.
They also came across the name Hosea at one point, and Samuel said that that word said 'Jesus'. That turned into a conversation on to whom Jesus loves (hint: the answer rhymes with 'smeverybody), and then we got to name people. This plays really well into night time prayers, because I've been trying (unsuccessfully until last night) to get Samuel to verbally participate in prayers rather than just listen to David or myself and occasionally chime in with 'Amen'. Last night he was willing to repeat what we said; another step forward.
It was a really sweet teaching moment to see. Samuel pointed at the words and I asked him what they were: "words!" he told me, and then he told me that words are made up of letters. David and I sang the alphabet song for him, and then David flipped through until he found the name Samuel and showed it to the boy. They named the letters together. It was sweet to see, and I discovered that Samuel really seems to be starting on the path to learning the alphabet, which is great.
They also came across the name Hosea at one point, and Samuel said that that word said 'Jesus'. That turned into a conversation on to whom Jesus loves (hint: the answer rhymes with 'smeverybody), and then we got to name people. This plays really well into night time prayers, because I've been trying (unsuccessfully until last night) to get Samuel to verbally participate in prayers rather than just listen to David or myself and occasionally chime in with 'Amen'. Last night he was willing to repeat what we said; another step forward.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Lies Marriage Preparation Classes Told Me.
There is a myth about marriages and parenthood that has come to my attention since I became a wife several years ago and a mother in 2010. It's a dangerous myth, I think, and although I would have wholeheartedly supported it when I was single as gospel truth, now I know it for what it is: a lie.
Tell me if you've heard this one.
You need to get out frequently and spend time with your husband (and alone or with friends) because it will 'help your marriage' and 'strengthen your relationship'. You 'need a break' from your child/work/life/home/routine. Not only is it 'healthy', but 'you're worth it'! Actually, you 'deserve it'. It's a necessity, not a treat, and you've worked hard. You have to 'take care of yourself'. If you don't, you'll wear out and be a terrible parent/wife/etc.
It's the worst kind of lie, because it's coated in a thin layer of truth, but if you scratch that truth, underneath you'll find something very different from what you'd expect. Let me elaborate by taking those phrases apart.
1. "You need to get out frequently and spend time with your husband (and alone or with friends) because it will 'help your marriage' and 'strengthen your relationship'."
This is a time-worn sentence and I can't think of anything more dangerous to family stability and values than taking this phrase to heart. Let's translate it down to plain English.
Time away from your responsibilities will help and strengthen your marriage.
What are your responsibilites? Don't list them, just think about them in terms of what they encompass in your life. They should be those aspects of your existance upon which you place the most value and in which you are yoked in tandem with your spouse. If you want to train a team of horses to pull a full wagon, do you take them out of their traces and let them wander around a field? No, of course not. You harness them together and have them pull the wagon. And then pull it some more. Teams work best when working as a team, and the longer and harder you work as a team, the better a team you are!
Someone will be asking themselves at this point "well, yes, but what about giving those poor horses a rest? They don't always have to work and neither do we!" To that I have two responses. Firstly, when you take time to rest, the greatest rest is to be found with the person you are teamed with, your partner. Time away from that person is not ultimately restful. Have you ever been away from your spouse for a period of time? Do you spend most of that time thinking "Oh! I have to remember to tell him that!" or "Oh! The children would have thought that was SO funny, what a shame they didn't see it!" and then spending a whole lot of time once you get home describing in detail what you did when you were apart?
There's a reason for that! For one thing, when you marry, the Bible tells us that you are joined as 'one flesh'. Sometimes my husband will joke that only one of us gets the brain that day, but sometimes that almost seems true! Two people joined together as one, but trying to function as separate entities, is a pointless exercise, rather like two people, each with one arm and one leg, refusing to work together to accomplish greater things.
Secondly, that sentence also states that we need time away WITH our spouse. And my question is this: what for? What, specifically, are you hoping for with repeated, consistant time away from home and family? I think that ultimately, if you were to look beyond layers and layers of answers to that question, you'd find that the ultimate reason is control. We want to feel as though our lives have not changed from what they once were. Now we are parents, and wives. Then we weren't. So, if we go out without our children (and even without our husbands) we can pretend in the back of our minds that we are again members of our old lives, and not living as we currently are. It's make-believe, pretend, and somewhat dangerous. You get all dressed up, try and look 'sexy', however that equates into a look for you, and go somewhere, often 'fancy' and 'grown up'. You go out as a single person. You look and act like a single person. Your spouse looks and acts like a single person. It's all okay, of course, because you're both doing it and it's fun and obviously you're only looking at each other, right? Right?
Now for the grain of truth. Spouses need time alone to talk and laugh and discuss issues and just be with each other. There is a place for that. That place shouldn't be at a date night restaurant every week, but it should exist constantly, in five minutes before breakfast, in an hour-long chat before bed, in a cuddly movie on the couch night, in a talk on the porch on a nice summer's night. It should be always. Sometime we go to bed early just to read together and talk about whatever. When Samuel is older, no doubt we'll slip into the backyard to have a last cup of hot chocolate together after he's asleep.
You 'need a break' from your child/work/life/home/routine.
What we're really saying is :
Life is drudgery and stress and you need to escape it whenever you can.
It's lies like this one that make people so unhappy in their existance. Lies like this break up marriages, because surely there is someone 'more exciting' out there. Lies like this make children unhappy, and employees unhappy, and single people unhappy. Lies like this can take a stranglehold on your life and, before you know it, turn what you thought was carefree ambition into misery.
There certainly are repetitive tasks in life, ask anyone who bottle feeds a baby what the wash-rinse-sterilize-fill-empty cycle feels like at the sixth month...sheer toil, I bet. Or what a med student feels like on their seventh consecutive year of post-secondary education, or what a clerk feels like counting the same till twice day, every day, for thirty years. Life has repetitive tasks, of course it does. Do you wear socks? Have you worn socks pretty much every day since you were very little? Do you wake up in the morning thinking "Oooooohhhh...I have to put socks on AGAIN?" Probably not, because putting on socks is something you do. It ultimately serves a purpose, you feel better once it's done, you're going to train your children how to do it and it improves your quality of life in a small way. So, you put on socks without thinking.
Notice how your mindset was changed as soon as you stopped thinking of putting on your socks as some sort of horrific trial you faced daily. Socks were 'one of those things' that you did. End of story. So can dishes be 'one of those things', and making beds, and going to work, and grocery shopping. How you think of the task is what makes it drudgery or not, not the task itself.
"Not only is it 'healthy', but 'you're worth it'! Actually, you 'deserve it'. It's a necessity, not a treat, and you've worked hard."
How about we say it like it is and not sugar-coat this one?
The luxuries in life are not luxuries anymore. You are so special that nothing is too good for you.
Slap the 'healthy' label on something and someone will buy it. Diets made entirely of sandwiches? Someone's done it. $200 bras? Cars that turn themselves on with the touch of a button? Clerks trained to practically lick your shoes if your meal is 15 minutes late at a restaurant? Special soaps to wash your organic and imported dragonfruit off with? Geez, Louise, what will they think of next? The answer is everything. They'll think of everything next, because that's what we're told to want...everything. We want to look 26 for our entire lives and have perfect worlds to exist in, free from all discomfort and inconvenience.
That massage isn't a treat to be savoured and thought about for weeks after, it's a necessity! Those special clothes, that expensive haircut, that pricey jewellery - why, you deserve that stuff! The time you spend away on date nights, the money on sitters, the time with the girls every week away from your family, those are 'you' times, and you NEED those times, right? If you don't get them, well, that's practically deprivation.
Which brings us to this:
You have to 'take care of yourself'. If you don't, you'll wear out and be a terrible parent/wife/etc.
I don't think I need to paraphrase this one, because it speaks for itself. It speaks of all of the mis-direction, all of the smoke and mirrors of how and why we live today. Put yourself first, always. Put your pleasure and happiness first. Any sacrifices you make should be made reluctantly, and always with the idea of a payback in the future. You owe me one. I owe you one. Then we're 'even'. Take care of yourself, treat yourself well, by this I don't mean be gracious with your insufficiencies and rest in the knowledge that one who is perfect has covered where you lack. No, what this sentence means is to do what you want, because, well, you want to. And isn't that a good enough reason? And if you don't do this, if you choose to go the other way and leave the world and its shortcomings far behind, then all you'll end up with, society warns you, is a shell of who you used to be.
Well, I think you know where I stand on that. But just in case, let me encourage you. Don't be afraid of your life changing, because life changes. It's a beautiful, beautiful life, and wouldn't it be nice to live it, rather than wish it away?
Tell me if you've heard this one.
You need to get out frequently and spend time with your husband (and alone or with friends) because it will 'help your marriage' and 'strengthen your relationship'. You 'need a break' from your child/work/life/home/routine. Not only is it 'healthy', but 'you're worth it'! Actually, you 'deserve it'. It's a necessity, not a treat, and you've worked hard. You have to 'take care of yourself'. If you don't, you'll wear out and be a terrible parent/wife/etc.
It's the worst kind of lie, because it's coated in a thin layer of truth, but if you scratch that truth, underneath you'll find something very different from what you'd expect. Let me elaborate by taking those phrases apart.
1. "You need to get out frequently and spend time with your husband (and alone or with friends) because it will 'help your marriage' and 'strengthen your relationship'."
This is a time-worn sentence and I can't think of anything more dangerous to family stability and values than taking this phrase to heart. Let's translate it down to plain English.
Time away from your responsibilities will help and strengthen your marriage.
What are your responsibilites? Don't list them, just think about them in terms of what they encompass in your life. They should be those aspects of your existance upon which you place the most value and in which you are yoked in tandem with your spouse. If you want to train a team of horses to pull a full wagon, do you take them out of their traces and let them wander around a field? No, of course not. You harness them together and have them pull the wagon. And then pull it some more. Teams work best when working as a team, and the longer and harder you work as a team, the better a team you are!
Someone will be asking themselves at this point "well, yes, but what about giving those poor horses a rest? They don't always have to work and neither do we!" To that I have two responses. Firstly, when you take time to rest, the greatest rest is to be found with the person you are teamed with, your partner. Time away from that person is not ultimately restful. Have you ever been away from your spouse for a period of time? Do you spend most of that time thinking "Oh! I have to remember to tell him that!" or "Oh! The children would have thought that was SO funny, what a shame they didn't see it!" and then spending a whole lot of time once you get home describing in detail what you did when you were apart?
There's a reason for that! For one thing, when you marry, the Bible tells us that you are joined as 'one flesh'. Sometimes my husband will joke that only one of us gets the brain that day, but sometimes that almost seems true! Two people joined together as one, but trying to function as separate entities, is a pointless exercise, rather like two people, each with one arm and one leg, refusing to work together to accomplish greater things.
Secondly, that sentence also states that we need time away WITH our spouse. And my question is this: what for? What, specifically, are you hoping for with repeated, consistant time away from home and family? I think that ultimately, if you were to look beyond layers and layers of answers to that question, you'd find that the ultimate reason is control. We want to feel as though our lives have not changed from what they once were. Now we are parents, and wives. Then we weren't. So, if we go out without our children (and even without our husbands) we can pretend in the back of our minds that we are again members of our old lives, and not living as we currently are. It's make-believe, pretend, and somewhat dangerous. You get all dressed up, try and look 'sexy', however that equates into a look for you, and go somewhere, often 'fancy' and 'grown up'. You go out as a single person. You look and act like a single person. Your spouse looks and acts like a single person. It's all okay, of course, because you're both doing it and it's fun and obviously you're only looking at each other, right? Right?
Now for the grain of truth. Spouses need time alone to talk and laugh and discuss issues and just be with each other. There is a place for that. That place shouldn't be at a date night restaurant every week, but it should exist constantly, in five minutes before breakfast, in an hour-long chat before bed, in a cuddly movie on the couch night, in a talk on the porch on a nice summer's night. It should be always. Sometime we go to bed early just to read together and talk about whatever. When Samuel is older, no doubt we'll slip into the backyard to have a last cup of hot chocolate together after he's asleep.
You 'need a break' from your child/work/life/home/routine.
What we're really saying is :
Life is drudgery and stress and you need to escape it whenever you can.
It's lies like this one that make people so unhappy in their existance. Lies like this break up marriages, because surely there is someone 'more exciting' out there. Lies like this make children unhappy, and employees unhappy, and single people unhappy. Lies like this can take a stranglehold on your life and, before you know it, turn what you thought was carefree ambition into misery.
There certainly are repetitive tasks in life, ask anyone who bottle feeds a baby what the wash-rinse-sterilize-fill-empty cycle feels like at the sixth month...sheer toil, I bet. Or what a med student feels like on their seventh consecutive year of post-secondary education, or what a clerk feels like counting the same till twice day, every day, for thirty years. Life has repetitive tasks, of course it does. Do you wear socks? Have you worn socks pretty much every day since you were very little? Do you wake up in the morning thinking "Oooooohhhh...I have to put socks on AGAIN?" Probably not, because putting on socks is something you do. It ultimately serves a purpose, you feel better once it's done, you're going to train your children how to do it and it improves your quality of life in a small way. So, you put on socks without thinking.
Notice how your mindset was changed as soon as you stopped thinking of putting on your socks as some sort of horrific trial you faced daily. Socks were 'one of those things' that you did. End of story. So can dishes be 'one of those things', and making beds, and going to work, and grocery shopping. How you think of the task is what makes it drudgery or not, not the task itself.
"Not only is it 'healthy', but 'you're worth it'! Actually, you 'deserve it'. It's a necessity, not a treat, and you've worked hard."
How about we say it like it is and not sugar-coat this one?
The luxuries in life are not luxuries anymore. You are so special that nothing is too good for you.
Slap the 'healthy' label on something and someone will buy it. Diets made entirely of sandwiches? Someone's done it. $200 bras? Cars that turn themselves on with the touch of a button? Clerks trained to practically lick your shoes if your meal is 15 minutes late at a restaurant? Special soaps to wash your organic and imported dragonfruit off with? Geez, Louise, what will they think of next? The answer is everything. They'll think of everything next, because that's what we're told to want...everything. We want to look 26 for our entire lives and have perfect worlds to exist in, free from all discomfort and inconvenience.
That massage isn't a treat to be savoured and thought about for weeks after, it's a necessity! Those special clothes, that expensive haircut, that pricey jewellery - why, you deserve that stuff! The time you spend away on date nights, the money on sitters, the time with the girls every week away from your family, those are 'you' times, and you NEED those times, right? If you don't get them, well, that's practically deprivation.
Which brings us to this:
You have to 'take care of yourself'. If you don't, you'll wear out and be a terrible parent/wife/etc.
I don't think I need to paraphrase this one, because it speaks for itself. It speaks of all of the mis-direction, all of the smoke and mirrors of how and why we live today. Put yourself first, always. Put your pleasure and happiness first. Any sacrifices you make should be made reluctantly, and always with the idea of a payback in the future. You owe me one. I owe you one. Then we're 'even'. Take care of yourself, treat yourself well, by this I don't mean be gracious with your insufficiencies and rest in the knowledge that one who is perfect has covered where you lack. No, what this sentence means is to do what you want, because, well, you want to. And isn't that a good enough reason? And if you don't do this, if you choose to go the other way and leave the world and its shortcomings far behind, then all you'll end up with, society warns you, is a shell of who you used to be.
Well, I think you know where I stand on that. But just in case, let me encourage you. Don't be afraid of your life changing, because life changes. It's a beautiful, beautiful life, and wouldn't it be nice to live it, rather than wish it away?
Monday, January 30, 2012
A field trip in which I feel huge.
I haven't been to the theatre in years, but I got a chance to go with my friend Laura this past Wed. to see Joyful Noise. The company was great, but the theatre manager told me I was the 'first Mom in months to ask for REAL butter on their popcorn'. Wow. Really? I mean, first of all, who SAYS THAT TO A HUGELY PREGNANT WOMAN? And second, well, do I need a second? It's all her fault I ate the family pack of m&ms
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Terrible Twos
You would think that when your child started to go through the 'terrible twos' (although I've been assured that these last for years, which is not an encouraging thing to say to a mother expecting another baby in four months) you would blame bad behaviour on THEM. On their hormones and growth spurts and whatever else contributes to the terribleness of being two-ish. But for the last few days I've just felt awful, like I must be the problem, and all that ends up doing is making me cranky and depressed.
Case in point: yesterday. Yesterday Samuel woke up at 5:30am. He yelled from his little baby cage in the next room until David got up and got him and brought him into our bed while I ran to have bathroom break #68 of the short morning. On the way back to the bedroom I grabbed a sippy cup of water and a bowl of cheerios. I let Sam nurse for about 45 minutes and then fed him the water and cereal while I tried to at least wait for dawn before getting up. After a bit, he turned the radio on and read books loudly to David and I before eventually getting up to forage for more food.
I gave him toast and oranges and what have you for breakfast, David took over and changed his diaper and I went to work for a few hours. During the hours I was gone David and Samuel went for a long walk, had leftover hot turkey for lunch, played in the livingroom and had a nap.
By the time I got home it was about 1pm. We went to Subway and bought ham sandwiches to take to playgroup, where Samuel spent a happy hour and a half playing with his friends, drinking countless cups of juice and generally enjoying himself. After playgroup we walked over to say hello to David at work and then spent 45 minutes in the library colouring, picking out books and DVDs to borrow and annoying childless patrons.
By the time we got home it was around 4:30. I spread a quilt on the sofa, changed Sam into something comfortable, peeled him another orange and got him a drink, turned off the lights and plugged in the Christmas tree for him to look at, and put on his new library DVD that told stories about bears and snow, two of his favourite topics. Then I said: "buddy, Mama is going to go to the bathroom, make a cup of tea and check her email. You stay here and watch your movie."
And all heck broke loose.
It just wasn't working out, me leaving him alone for twenty minutes one room away, and that was driving me crazy. For 13 hours, Samuel had had one or another parent's undivided attention, and now I was asking for time that didn't involve him, and it was a disaster. I know, intellectually, that he was expressing unhappiness at being 'left alone' as he saw it, and that he wanted to participate in what Mama was doing, which clearly had to be more exciting than what he was being told to do, and blah blah blah, but really, I was frustrated! I wanted my 21 month old to look at me in that moment and realize "whoa, that woman needs a coffee and fast! I'd better sit here, in complete comfort and relaxation, and watch this movie and eat this orange and give her a moment to collect herself and possibly go to the bathroom alone. Yes, I'd better do that." Instead, he screamed, and followed me like a pathetic puppy around the house hollering "Up! Up!" to be picked up as I tried to spend a few minutes on myself.
It's just life with a toddler, but it's hard to be rational about it when you've slept for five hours the night before and are terrified of doing this with a newborn in tow in less than a season.
Case in point: yesterday. Yesterday Samuel woke up at 5:30am. He yelled from his little baby cage in the next room until David got up and got him and brought him into our bed while I ran to have bathroom break #68 of the short morning. On the way back to the bedroom I grabbed a sippy cup of water and a bowl of cheerios. I let Sam nurse for about 45 minutes and then fed him the water and cereal while I tried to at least wait for dawn before getting up. After a bit, he turned the radio on and read books loudly to David and I before eventually getting up to forage for more food.
I gave him toast and oranges and what have you for breakfast, David took over and changed his diaper and I went to work for a few hours. During the hours I was gone David and Samuel went for a long walk, had leftover hot turkey for lunch, played in the livingroom and had a nap.
By the time I got home it was about 1pm. We went to Subway and bought ham sandwiches to take to playgroup, where Samuel spent a happy hour and a half playing with his friends, drinking countless cups of juice and generally enjoying himself. After playgroup we walked over to say hello to David at work and then spent 45 minutes in the library colouring, picking out books and DVDs to borrow and annoying childless patrons.
By the time we got home it was around 4:30. I spread a quilt on the sofa, changed Sam into something comfortable, peeled him another orange and got him a drink, turned off the lights and plugged in the Christmas tree for him to look at, and put on his new library DVD that told stories about bears and snow, two of his favourite topics. Then I said: "buddy, Mama is going to go to the bathroom, make a cup of tea and check her email. You stay here and watch your movie."
And all heck broke loose.
It just wasn't working out, me leaving him alone for twenty minutes one room away, and that was driving me crazy. For 13 hours, Samuel had had one or another parent's undivided attention, and now I was asking for time that didn't involve him, and it was a disaster. I know, intellectually, that he was expressing unhappiness at being 'left alone' as he saw it, and that he wanted to participate in what Mama was doing, which clearly had to be more exciting than what he was being told to do, and blah blah blah, but really, I was frustrated! I wanted my 21 month old to look at me in that moment and realize "whoa, that woman needs a coffee and fast! I'd better sit here, in complete comfort and relaxation, and watch this movie and eat this orange and give her a moment to collect herself and possibly go to the bathroom alone. Yes, I'd better do that." Instead, he screamed, and followed me like a pathetic puppy around the house hollering "Up! Up!" to be picked up as I tried to spend a few minutes on myself.
It's just life with a toddler, but it's hard to be rational about it when you've slept for five hours the night before and are terrified of doing this with a newborn in tow in less than a season.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Remedies and Food for Sore Throats
{As it gets colder outside, I like to have the ingredients on hand to make some of the recipes that work to soothe all our cold and flu symptoms so that we don’t always have to revert to medications; here are a few of the best that we’ve found for sore throats.}
Little spoons, dipped in honey and set on a saucer in the freezer to cool and harden. I make these in batches so that they’re ready when we are. Honey has been proven in multiple studies to be effective on sore throats and coughing. In fact, it’s shown to be as effective as over-the-counter medications! I’ve cited two trusted websites for more information, but the verdict is in on this one – honey works!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/honey/AN01799
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/90594.php
{I have been making some version or another of this soup for years now and it never fails to lift the spirits and make everyone feel a little bit better. This version is the latest in a long list of options (I’m sure that you, too have a chicken soup recipe buried somewhere!) but I like it especially because of its ingredients, all therapeutic, and the ease with which you can toss it together.}
Chicken carcass + at least two chicken thighs with the bones in.
½ lemon, washed, with the skin on.
1 onion, peeled and halved.
1 clove of garlic, peeled.
Bay leaf
Peppercorns
Salt to taste (we probably use about 1 Tbsp for a large pot.)
Cover your ingredients with water, bring to a boil and turn down to a simmer. Cover and cook until the meat is falling off the bones. Strain and serve as broth, or, if little upset stomachs can handle it, finely cut up some of the meat and vegetables and add those in as well. Stores for a few days sealed in the fridge.
The trick with little bodies that are sick, I’ve found, is to discover ways in which you can hide healing ingredients into much-coveted foods. Popsicles and ‘Jello’ both work well in our family, but you could use the same theories to attempt ice cream or sorbet, soft breads and puddings.
For popsicles, I use a set of molds I picked up last Summer. I fill them with a mixture of healing foods that I know Samuel will eat without a problem, and I also try to incorporate some calories in there as well, because sick bodies need fuel to get better. Some combinations that have worked well for us have been natural ginger ale and honey, pureed strawberries and frozen rice milk, all sure favourites. If you don’t have popsicle molds, a banana frozen with the skin on and peeled when you need it works just as well.
For gelatins, we often make our own using gelatin powder and juices. If you like this idea, make sure to add something sweet, especially if your little person is used to Jello-style gelatin, because unflavored gelatin powder is just that, very unflavored! We’ve done this in the past with grape juice, and by steeping ginger and lemon tea bags in water and using that, but coconut milk or fruit juices would work as well.
Honey Spoons
Little spoons, dipped in honey and set on a saucer in the freezer to cool and harden. I make these in batches so that they’re ready when we are. Honey has been proven in multiple studies to be effective on sore throats and coughing. In fact, it’s shown to be as effective as over-the-counter medications! I’ve cited two trusted websites for more information, but the verdict is in on this one – honey works!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/honey/AN01799
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/90594.php
Chicken, Lemon and Garlic Soup
{I have been making some version or another of this soup for years now and it never fails to lift the spirits and make everyone feel a little bit better. This version is the latest in a long list of options (I’m sure that you, too have a chicken soup recipe buried somewhere!) but I like it especially because of its ingredients, all therapeutic, and the ease with which you can toss it together.}
Chicken carcass + at least two chicken thighs with the bones in.
½ lemon, washed, with the skin on.
1 onion, peeled and halved.
1 clove of garlic, peeled.
Bay leaf
Peppercorns
Salt to taste (we probably use about 1 Tbsp for a large pot.)
Cover your ingredients with water, bring to a boil and turn down to a simmer. Cover and cook until the meat is falling off the bones. Strain and serve as broth, or, if little upset stomachs can handle it, finely cut up some of the meat and vegetables and add those in as well. Stores for a few days sealed in the fridge.
Popsicles and Gelatins
The trick with little bodies that are sick, I’ve found, is to discover ways in which you can hide healing ingredients into much-coveted foods. Popsicles and ‘Jello’ both work well in our family, but you could use the same theories to attempt ice cream or sorbet, soft breads and puddings.
For popsicles, I use a set of molds I picked up last Summer. I fill them with a mixture of healing foods that I know Samuel will eat without a problem, and I also try to incorporate some calories in there as well, because sick bodies need fuel to get better. Some combinations that have worked well for us have been natural ginger ale and honey, pureed strawberries and frozen rice milk, all sure favourites. If you don’t have popsicle molds, a banana frozen with the skin on and peeled when you need it works just as well.
For gelatins, we often make our own using gelatin powder and juices. If you like this idea, make sure to add something sweet, especially if your little person is used to Jello-style gelatin, because unflavored gelatin powder is just that, very unflavored! We’ve done this in the past with grape juice, and by steeping ginger and lemon tea bags in water and using that, but coconut milk or fruit juices would work as well.
Hot Lemon, Honey and Ginger Infusion
My mother made a version of this drink for me when I was little and home from school with a cold. It's a much better, not to mention healthier, version of the hot lemon drinks that come in little packages and always taste metallic to me. There isn't a recipe, per se, but the ingredients go something like this.
A few lemons, washed and chopped.
A piece of ginger root, peeled (this can be done with a spoon if you don't have a peeler) and chopped.
Honey to make it sweet.
Water to cover.
Keep your pot of hot drink simmering on the back burner for an hour or so and then turn it down to just keep it warm.
Warm Apple Drink
Another warm drink to soothe aching bodies and put everyone to sleep.
Unsweetened Apple juice (you can make this in a juicer, if you like, or buy a good quality brand)
Your choice of a stick of cinnamon, grated nutmeg and several cloves or a good teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice.
Your choice of a stick of cinnamon, grated nutmeg and several cloves or a good teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice.
Heat and serve.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Changes
The debate continues, mostly internalised but still very much present, on the topic of change. Samuel will be 20 months old in a week, and the new baby is arriving in 5 months, give or take! All of this means, to me, that some things are gently, gently changing around here.
We're slowly, ever so slowly, weaning. This is such a very big step for me because even a few months ago the thought of weaning sent me into a panic. I have treasured my time with Samuel, my first little nursling, and it formed a central core to our mother/child relationship. I mean, how many hobbies can you share with a one year old? But nursing, nursing gave us common ground and a shared purpose, and more importantly, it gave me the sense of being a provider to my son's needs when I felt less and less like the 'perfect mother'. This was something I could do, and do well; he was hungry and I could feed him, it was a perfect combination of strengths and talents. Last month we, Samuel and I, together decided that weaning was starting for both of us. I felt myself more sore after nursing, sometimes 'antsy' and uncomfortable, sometimes even, heaven forbid, snappish at his poking or digging little nails. And he, possibly in response to my emotions or urged on by his own inner promptings, started to say 'no' to my offers of nursing, choosing a cup of water or a special toy as a comfort instead. I was sad, and then suddenly, I was okay with it. He and I, we were making the decision together, and ultimately that was what I had always wanted. We still nurse, sometimes quite frequently, but more and more that part of us is separating and I am discovering, to my joy and surprise, that there isn't a gaping hole where my beautiful son's downy head used to rest, but a whole new relationship that keeps us close and loving each other.
That's not all, though, for my very big boy of almost two! He spent some time last week with Daddy setting up his toddler bed, proudly turning the screwdriver while David held the screws in place and helping Mama to find the yellow wool blankets in the steamer trunk that will fit his bed. I even dug out my old baby quilt and snuggled it into the mattress, old faithful is back in service again! He was thrilled with it, and even more thrilled that it meant he got to sleep in a bed beside Mama and Daddy's bed, have his very own warm baseboard heater beside the headboard, and explore the glorious possibilities of play that come with convincing a cat to sleep on your feet, something he never had in the crib. Plus, in the mornings he can crawl right over Daddy, pausing to pat him affectionately on the head, and slip under the blankets beside me to nurse and sometimes drift off again. In a few months we'll start to think about getting a toddler safety railing in place and move him into his room, taking down the maple crib for good (or for a while, till the baby is out of the bassinette) and letting him enjoy the freedom of creeping around a room without being walled into your sleeping place! I foresee many closed doors.
Changes, not all that bad, and a good season, all in all, for a family to use to grow closer.
We're slowly, ever so slowly, weaning. This is such a very big step for me because even a few months ago the thought of weaning sent me into a panic. I have treasured my time with Samuel, my first little nursling, and it formed a central core to our mother/child relationship. I mean, how many hobbies can you share with a one year old? But nursing, nursing gave us common ground and a shared purpose, and more importantly, it gave me the sense of being a provider to my son's needs when I felt less and less like the 'perfect mother'. This was something I could do, and do well; he was hungry and I could feed him, it was a perfect combination of strengths and talents. Last month we, Samuel and I, together decided that weaning was starting for both of us. I felt myself more sore after nursing, sometimes 'antsy' and uncomfortable, sometimes even, heaven forbid, snappish at his poking or digging little nails. And he, possibly in response to my emotions or urged on by his own inner promptings, started to say 'no' to my offers of nursing, choosing a cup of water or a special toy as a comfort instead. I was sad, and then suddenly, I was okay with it. He and I, we were making the decision together, and ultimately that was what I had always wanted. We still nurse, sometimes quite frequently, but more and more that part of us is separating and I am discovering, to my joy and surprise, that there isn't a gaping hole where my beautiful son's downy head used to rest, but a whole new relationship that keeps us close and loving each other.
That's not all, though, for my very big boy of almost two! He spent some time last week with Daddy setting up his toddler bed, proudly turning the screwdriver while David held the screws in place and helping Mama to find the yellow wool blankets in the steamer trunk that will fit his bed. I even dug out my old baby quilt and snuggled it into the mattress, old faithful is back in service again! He was thrilled with it, and even more thrilled that it meant he got to sleep in a bed beside Mama and Daddy's bed, have his very own warm baseboard heater beside the headboard, and explore the glorious possibilities of play that come with convincing a cat to sleep on your feet, something he never had in the crib. Plus, in the mornings he can crawl right over Daddy, pausing to pat him affectionately on the head, and slip under the blankets beside me to nurse and sometimes drift off again. In a few months we'll start to think about getting a toddler safety railing in place and move him into his room, taking down the maple crib for good (or for a while, till the baby is out of the bassinette) and letting him enjoy the freedom of creeping around a room without being walled into your sleeping place! I foresee many closed doors.
Changes, not all that bad, and a good season, all in all, for a family to use to grow closer.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Flu: Updated.
We’ve been sick before as a family of three, and the baby has had the flu before, but we’ve never been sick with the flu alongside the baby, and I have to say it really makes a difference. There is no better way to ‘die to self’ than to nurse a sick child when you yourself are very sick. There is something surreal about it, as though you aren’t really doing these things, just thinking them. Somehow, despite being unable to lift your head from the pillow enough to take a drink, you have enough strength to gather up the baby and croak a lullaby to him. The very thought of food makes you ill, but you stagger into the kitchen anyway to find something for your child to eat. It may take you three times as long to do it, but he is bathed, and diapered, dosed with Tylenol and rocked every evening. You nurse him, and feel terrible, but you still nurse him. Is this a small sampling of divine love? Is this flu a carefully disguised gift, a way for Our Father to show us how he can love through us? Because this strength I find in weakness is not mine; it must be Him loving the baby through me.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
our definitions
I wrote this post last July, and I thought that today I might share it.
I was reading a favourite blog of mine this evening, http://www.sortacrunchy.typepad.com/, and she just inspired me with her down to earth, hilarious and relaxed approach to walking lightly on this planet we call home and in this funny thing we call family. And it made me want to talk about my little family and how much it means to me that we are trying our hardest to do this thing together.
When David and I first got together I was adament that I did not want children. I think I had a picture in my mind of me jet-setting around the world or something, although honestly I can't even remember, it was as if that girl is someone else entirely! And as we fell in love with each other and began to slowly weave a life together out of our separate identities something fairly momentous happened to me - I became a Christian. Of course it was wonderful and awe-inspiring and frightening and a million other things that would require a blog of their own just to document, but mostly what it was was eye-opening. I remember very forcefully insisting to David (not that he was disputing me or anything, I'm just an incredibly intense person when I'm trying to make a point! LOOK at me, can't you TELL I'm saying something of EXTREME importance, and so forth.) that it was as if I had spent my life walking around with sunglasses on, and now I had taken them off, and nothing could ever be the same.
And the calendar turned, and we grew closer, and the words 'baby' and 'children' and 'little ones' would sometimes creep into our conversations as if we were testing each other, to sense reactions. And there was a proposal of marriage, sweetly asked of me in the kitchen of our wee apartment (where you could access our bedroom closet via the front hall, as a random aside) while I stirred pasta on the stove and David wrapped his arms around my waist and we couldn't see eye to eye. And I knew the answer was yes, and he knew the answer was yes, but still the butterflies flew.
And we can fast-forward to the time when we knew we wanted a baby. When I knew I wanted a baby, wanted one more than I realized it was possible for a woman to want something. Every pore in my body craved this to such an extreme point that I could barely speak of anything else. That first month I took a home pregnancy test it came back negative, and we cried on the sofa. I hadn't known until I saw David cry how much he too had desperately wanted this. And then the next month we tried again, and it was positive. I was elated, as you can imagine, and then I started to bleed and that was that. It was over, I told myself, but I had a hard time believing it. We tried again, attacking this like a problem to be fixed, and again I became pregnant. This time it lasted a few weeks before we lost the baby. Weeks of pregnancy tests and obstetricians and ultrasounds and then, finally, surgery and a sad recovery and two little scars to remind me.
I mourned it so much, and we went to our priest and knelt in the quiet church and he prayed for us and we cried, and cried. When we were leaving I said "perhaps we're meant to adopt. Maybe there is a baby out there for us." and our priest said "if God has called you to have a child you need to stick with that." I never forgot that. Stick with what you know is His will, and you will find happiness.
And then two months later, in the middle of a stressful move, another positive test, this time taken alone in a new province far from David. Our excitement and fear all over again. Our worry when again I bled, our trip to the hospital. Sadness may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. The heartbeat was still there, and our little boy came to us, and we called him Samuel, because God heard us.
And what I thought was the beginning of the end was just the end of the beginning, really. Can you ever really grasp the fact that one day, some time from now, you are going to walk into a hospital, and things will happen to you that you can't really begin to understand, and then a few days later you will leave the hospital with another human being. And it is all up to you to teach this new human everything it needs to know to not just NOT damage itself, but actively thrive and love and live and not pick it's nose in public and other important bits of information necessary for communal living. "I can't believe they're letting us take him home!" I would whisper to David. Surely we should be interviewed, provide references, produce bank statements and so forth to prove that this amazing blessing will be taken care of and nurtured.
Oh the joy of having him. I want to tell every story just to remember them all. I want to tell how hard it was to breastfeed, and then how easy it was, for both of us, as though he was saying "well of course, mama, this is how it's supposed to be!" and how hard it was to cloth diaper, and then how easy, and hard again. How we co-slept and snuggled with each other, and then how he decided to sleep on his own, and that first frightening night he slept in his own room. And how he smiles. And how I love him so very much.
This little boy.
I was reading a favourite blog of mine this evening, http://www.sortacrunchy.typepad.com/, and she just inspired me with her down to earth, hilarious and relaxed approach to walking lightly on this planet we call home and in this funny thing we call family. And it made me want to talk about my little family and how much it means to me that we are trying our hardest to do this thing together.
When David and I first got together I was adament that I did not want children. I think I had a picture in my mind of me jet-setting around the world or something, although honestly I can't even remember, it was as if that girl is someone else entirely! And as we fell in love with each other and began to slowly weave a life together out of our separate identities something fairly momentous happened to me - I became a Christian. Of course it was wonderful and awe-inspiring and frightening and a million other things that would require a blog of their own just to document, but mostly what it was was eye-opening. I remember very forcefully insisting to David (not that he was disputing me or anything, I'm just an incredibly intense person when I'm trying to make a point! LOOK at me, can't you TELL I'm saying something of EXTREME importance, and so forth.) that it was as if I had spent my life walking around with sunglasses on, and now I had taken them off, and nothing could ever be the same.
And the calendar turned, and we grew closer, and the words 'baby' and 'children' and 'little ones' would sometimes creep into our conversations as if we were testing each other, to sense reactions. And there was a proposal of marriage, sweetly asked of me in the kitchen of our wee apartment (where you could access our bedroom closet via the front hall, as a random aside) while I stirred pasta on the stove and David wrapped his arms around my waist and we couldn't see eye to eye. And I knew the answer was yes, and he knew the answer was yes, but still the butterflies flew.
And we can fast-forward to the time when we knew we wanted a baby. When I knew I wanted a baby, wanted one more than I realized it was possible for a woman to want something. Every pore in my body craved this to such an extreme point that I could barely speak of anything else. That first month I took a home pregnancy test it came back negative, and we cried on the sofa. I hadn't known until I saw David cry how much he too had desperately wanted this. And then the next month we tried again, and it was positive. I was elated, as you can imagine, and then I started to bleed and that was that. It was over, I told myself, but I had a hard time believing it. We tried again, attacking this like a problem to be fixed, and again I became pregnant. This time it lasted a few weeks before we lost the baby. Weeks of pregnancy tests and obstetricians and ultrasounds and then, finally, surgery and a sad recovery and two little scars to remind me.
I mourned it so much, and we went to our priest and knelt in the quiet church and he prayed for us and we cried, and cried. When we were leaving I said "perhaps we're meant to adopt. Maybe there is a baby out there for us." and our priest said "if God has called you to have a child you need to stick with that." I never forgot that. Stick with what you know is His will, and you will find happiness.
And then two months later, in the middle of a stressful move, another positive test, this time taken alone in a new province far from David. Our excitement and fear all over again. Our worry when again I bled, our trip to the hospital. Sadness may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. The heartbeat was still there, and our little boy came to us, and we called him Samuel, because God heard us.
And what I thought was the beginning of the end was just the end of the beginning, really. Can you ever really grasp the fact that one day, some time from now, you are going to walk into a hospital, and things will happen to you that you can't really begin to understand, and then a few days later you will leave the hospital with another human being. And it is all up to you to teach this new human everything it needs to know to not just NOT damage itself, but actively thrive and love and live and not pick it's nose in public and other important bits of information necessary for communal living. "I can't believe they're letting us take him home!" I would whisper to David. Surely we should be interviewed, provide references, produce bank statements and so forth to prove that this amazing blessing will be taken care of and nurtured.
Oh the joy of having him. I want to tell every story just to remember them all. I want to tell how hard it was to breastfeed, and then how easy it was, for both of us, as though he was saying "well of course, mama, this is how it's supposed to be!" and how hard it was to cloth diaper, and then how easy, and hard again. How we co-slept and snuggled with each other, and then how he decided to sleep on his own, and that first frightening night he slept in his own room. And how he smiles. And how I love him so very much.
This little boy.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
We're Baaaaack
That had to be, hands down, one of the worst night's sleep I've ever had, but except for a small delay getting into Montreal we were pretty much on time the whole trip and arrived in Moncton 22 hours after we left, drove for an hour, and found ourselves at home once more. Cue the immediate launch into household chores, garbage night, bed time and trying to defrost something for supper. Ah, life as I remember it!
David gave me an interesting bit of information he gleaned from a VIA Rail employee; apparently our train, the Ocean, is a refurbished Chunnel train. As in the undersea tunnel from England to France. Isn't that neat?
I'm off to eat now, but don't go too far, I have a very cool post to get up later this evening.
David gave me an interesting bit of information he gleaned from a VIA Rail employee; apparently our train, the Ocean, is a refurbished Chunnel train. As in the undersea tunnel from England to France. Isn't that neat?
I'm off to eat now, but don't go too far, I have a very cool post to get up later this evening.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Prepare to be bored-ed.
The trip is 22 hours long and we leave in, oh, about 4 hours. I have at least one huge load of laundry to do, a bed to strip, a bath to be had, lunch to be made, bags to be packed, shoes to be cleaned and stored away from clothes, carry-on luggage to be separated from checked luggage and all that that entails (does the baby need an abacus in the next 22 hours? How about pajamas? What is our food plan?) and, of course, everyone to bid farewell.
Naturally, because I am excellent at procrastinating and general disorderliness I am squeezing in a last blog post and debating whether or not to have a second cup of tea. Plus there is leftover spinach dip and tandoori chicken pizza in the fridge and I'm thinking about a raid. It will have to be covert because if that little baby sees Mama eating he'll want it too.
That little baby who woke up this morning with a temperature and green mucus pouring out of him! Hurrah! A nice Spring cold to herald us home to New Brunswick!
Naturally, because I am excellent at procrastinating and general disorderliness I am squeezing in a last blog post and debating whether or not to have a second cup of tea. Plus there is leftover spinach dip and tandoori chicken pizza in the fridge and I'm thinking about a raid. It will have to be covert because if that little baby sees Mama eating he'll want it too.
That little baby who woke up this morning with a temperature and green mucus pouring out of him! Hurrah! A nice Spring cold to herald us home to New Brunswick!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Saying yes is so much easier than saying no.
It's really been on my heart lately how much I feel obligated to say yes when I'm asked to do something. Strangely enough, I've been reading other blogger's posts that run on a similar vein - maybe it's just the time of year and everyone is feeling the same way. Even so, I've decided to share the techniques I've been using to try and simplify my time management.
1. Remember what and who your priorities are.
If you're like me then chances are you have a whole list of things that are important to you. Your immediate family and extended family, your job, your at-home duties, your church and all of it's obligations, maybe your fitness regime, your health, possibly a hobby or two...there are a multitude of things that call for our attention on a daily basis. I find it helpful to have frequent 'check-ups' with myself, just to review what I've taken on recently and what obligations I have and match those up with what I claim my top priorities are. For example, now that I'm working outside of the home again it's easy to slip into old habits. I was recently offered a job that was right up my alley and frankly, I really wanted to take it. It would have meant more money than I'm making now and a chance to get into a field I've had an interest in for a long time. But it would also have meant being away from home for at least five hours a day for four days a week once I factored in travel time. When I reviewed my priorities I realized that my vocation as a wife, mother and keeper of my home isn't negated just because I need to take a job right now. My first responsibility is to my family and all that entails, and so I turned the job down.
Only plan for one *big* task per day
If I work on a certain day then I don't plan anything else *big* for that day. Same goes for the day I have to host a supper, or the day I know I have ten loads of laundry to do, or the day I'm scrubbing my oven and cleaning out my fridge. This is completely intentional because I'm prone to a version of 'eyes bigger than my stomach' when it comes to jobs. I think I can handle that laundry and a trip to the grocery store and cleaning out my closet etc. etc. but if I plan it all in one day I know, from past experience, that I'll get overwhelmed and cranky.
Categorize your obligations.
I've just started doing this but I have to tell you it has made a big difference in my stress level. I took a look at the areas in my life that require something from me and then I limit the amount of time I give to those areas of secondary importance. In a way, this is a natural progression from rule #1; remembering your priorities. Once you know what matters the most, you'll probably still have any number of obligations that still require some time even if they aren't as important as your number one priorities. Using me as an example; my first priorities are keeping the house running, attending church Sunday morning and investing in my family. Those are things I need to do every day, several times a day, and that require the majority of my time and energy. But they aren't my entire life, so I need to look at my secondary (and even tertiary, if your life is really hectic) responsibilities and manage how much time I'll allot to each. For me, that means investing in my church and community by focusing on one activity in each of those areas. I sit on a local board of directors, so that is my community involvement time. I was recently asked if I would lead a bible study for young mothers and as much as I want to do that, I know that it would be adding another community obligation to my schedule and would take away from home and family life, my first priorities. Likewise with church; I think it's important to be involved in some aspect of church life so I will be volunteering my time as a Sunday school teacher twice a month. I always enjoyed attending a mid-week bible study at another church in our area, but I've decided to stop attending so I can focus on Sunday school. The same goes for hobbies and interests. For me, my Thursday night knitting group gives me valuable fellowship and I really like it. If I wanted to, say, join the local gym and take an aerobics class or start attending an art class I would want to re-think my involvement in knitting. Is knitting what I'd like to do for my hobby or would I rather go to aerobics?
As I have been trying to focus on domestic vocation and all that that entails I often feel pulled in many directions. It seems as though everyone wants or needs something from me. At first I felt really awful saying no to people, especially when I felt like I had the skills to help them. I would convince myself that I could squeeze stuff in there somewhere, and then I would take on a project and either be unable to finish it, or unable to finish it to my satisfaction. And then I'd feel resentful, because I would like my word to be my bond. The bible states that our word should be enough; we shouldn't swear by something, and yet by allowing myself to be torn in so many directions my word wasn't enough. You couldn't count on me to call you back if I said I would, or the three days I needed to pray about something turned into a week, or the lesson plan I said I'd handle turned from a creative and inspiring piece of work to me bringing play-doh and cookies in for the kids to entertain themselves. I had become the equivalent of those Jesus colouring pages Sunday school teachers use when they didn't prepare a lesson. I was scraping by. And that wasn't enough.
You might find that you, too, could use some judicious editing of activities. Let me know how it goes!
1. Remember what and who your priorities are.
If you're like me then chances are you have a whole list of things that are important to you. Your immediate family and extended family, your job, your at-home duties, your church and all of it's obligations, maybe your fitness regime, your health, possibly a hobby or two...there are a multitude of things that call for our attention on a daily basis. I find it helpful to have frequent 'check-ups' with myself, just to review what I've taken on recently and what obligations I have and match those up with what I claim my top priorities are. For example, now that I'm working outside of the home again it's easy to slip into old habits. I was recently offered a job that was right up my alley and frankly, I really wanted to take it. It would have meant more money than I'm making now and a chance to get into a field I've had an interest in for a long time. But it would also have meant being away from home for at least five hours a day for four days a week once I factored in travel time. When I reviewed my priorities I realized that my vocation as a wife, mother and keeper of my home isn't negated just because I need to take a job right now. My first responsibility is to my family and all that entails, and so I turned the job down.
Only plan for one *big* task per day
If I work on a certain day then I don't plan anything else *big* for that day. Same goes for the day I have to host a supper, or the day I know I have ten loads of laundry to do, or the day I'm scrubbing my oven and cleaning out my fridge. This is completely intentional because I'm prone to a version of 'eyes bigger than my stomach' when it comes to jobs. I think I can handle that laundry and a trip to the grocery store and cleaning out my closet etc. etc. but if I plan it all in one day I know, from past experience, that I'll get overwhelmed and cranky.
Categorize your obligations.
I've just started doing this but I have to tell you it has made a big difference in my stress level. I took a look at the areas in my life that require something from me and then I limit the amount of time I give to those areas of secondary importance. In a way, this is a natural progression from rule #1; remembering your priorities. Once you know what matters the most, you'll probably still have any number of obligations that still require some time even if they aren't as important as your number one priorities. Using me as an example; my first priorities are keeping the house running, attending church Sunday morning and investing in my family. Those are things I need to do every day, several times a day, and that require the majority of my time and energy. But they aren't my entire life, so I need to look at my secondary (and even tertiary, if your life is really hectic) responsibilities and manage how much time I'll allot to each. For me, that means investing in my church and community by focusing on one activity in each of those areas. I sit on a local board of directors, so that is my community involvement time. I was recently asked if I would lead a bible study for young mothers and as much as I want to do that, I know that it would be adding another community obligation to my schedule and would take away from home and family life, my first priorities. Likewise with church; I think it's important to be involved in some aspect of church life so I will be volunteering my time as a Sunday school teacher twice a month. I always enjoyed attending a mid-week bible study at another church in our area, but I've decided to stop attending so I can focus on Sunday school. The same goes for hobbies and interests. For me, my Thursday night knitting group gives me valuable fellowship and I really like it. If I wanted to, say, join the local gym and take an aerobics class or start attending an art class I would want to re-think my involvement in knitting. Is knitting what I'd like to do for my hobby or would I rather go to aerobics?
As I have been trying to focus on domestic vocation and all that that entails I often feel pulled in many directions. It seems as though everyone wants or needs something from me. At first I felt really awful saying no to people, especially when I felt like I had the skills to help them. I would convince myself that I could squeeze stuff in there somewhere, and then I would take on a project and either be unable to finish it, or unable to finish it to my satisfaction. And then I'd feel resentful, because I would like my word to be my bond. The bible states that our word should be enough; we shouldn't swear by something, and yet by allowing myself to be torn in so many directions my word wasn't enough. You couldn't count on me to call you back if I said I would, or the three days I needed to pray about something turned into a week, or the lesson plan I said I'd handle turned from a creative and inspiring piece of work to me bringing play-doh and cookies in for the kids to entertain themselves. I had become the equivalent of those Jesus colouring pages Sunday school teachers use when they didn't prepare a lesson. I was scraping by. And that wasn't enough.
You might find that you, too, could use some judicious editing of activities. Let me know how it goes!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Spare time prayers
Gracious Heavenly Father, I can't tell you how much I appreciate seeing the sun after a solid week of rain. It really is a psychological boost, and apparently a big physical one as well because no one around this house has the slightest interest in sleeping when there's light outside and...oh this desk is disgusting, when did I even BUY this fabric? You see, this is why my food budget goes out the window each week, impulse spending! Sorry, where was I? Right, the sun. Thank you for it. Good job on that. Um, also thank you for David's paycheck, that's helpful, too. And for the newish crib, and...what was that sound? Is someone in my house? What do I have to throw around here...Jeez you know I've been tripping over that paint stick for weeks and now that I actually need it all I can find is a needle gauge. Never mind, I think it's the cat anyway and no one in their right mind would burgle us-we have nothing to steal. Where was I? Right, the sun. No, wait, I think we did the sun already, okay well thank you for, um, this needle gauge and the computer. You know the way that cat cries you'd think I was branding him or something. With a needle gauge. A needle gauge dipped in hot wax! Would that work? If I had a brand I wonder what it would be? ARRRGGG! Okay, okay, focus. Thank you for, um, oh never mind that's enough thank yous anyway. Let's see, what do we need? Ha! Good question. I could use a bit of help convincing David that we're not actually trying to open a used plastic bag facility and it's okay to occasionally toss some. That would be helpful. Please put that on his heart, God, maybe with an angel visitation or something because we BOTH know how hard it's going to be to convince him to voluntarily throw something away. Ahhh, I like these chats, do you? I've been talking for a while now, why don't you have a go? Hmmm....I'm listening. Da da da tum tum...mmmmm, was that enough time? Are you telling me anything? I feel like KILLING THE CAT if he cries one more time - any chance that's from you, God? No, probably not.
Um, Amen for now.
Wait! I need bread! Please. Thank you.
Um, Amen for now.
Wait! I need bread! Please. Thank you.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesdays are for sharing.
Time to share!
1. "At the Day of Judgement, we shall not be asked what we have read, but what we have done; not how successfully we have spoken or preached, but how well we have laboured." (Cf. The Imitation of Christ, Bk.1, Ch. 3) It doesn't get much plainer than that.
2. I've come across this website, and I'm pretty excited about it. http://www.pgbrandsampler.ca/. Because you probably use shampoo, and if you do, it smells better when it's free.
3. We're loving our foogo sippy cup. Thermos makes this great brand of insulated cups and containers for little hands. This cup is a bit heavier than your run-of-the-mill sippy cup, and a bit more expensive, too (ours ran about $17) but is well worth it and keeps milk cold for 6 hours.
4. One of the charities we support on an annual basis is Operation Christmas Child, run by Samaritan's Purse, which may be familiar to some because it was started by Billy Graham's son, Franklin. We love to support OCC, which sends our shoeboxes to children around the world to show them a Christmas when, often, they would have nothing. The boxes are free, take very little to fill (we do ours for under $20 each at the Dollarama) and can be dropped off or mailed to checkpoints where they will be wrapped and sent, with Christian volunteers, to a variety of desperate places around the world. Think about making them one of your special Christmas projects this year.
5. And finally...
welcome to the family, my son.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
This week is looking busy
Is it just me or do mamas not really get a vacation even when going on vacation? This weekend my husband, my son and I are going away with some friends and staying at a little cottage on a beach for two whole days. We're going to swim, we're going to lie around and do nothing, and baby, we are going to have a grand old time. You know what the baby has to do in preparation for this? Nada. Do you know what the papa has to do? Work until Thursday and then load the van. Do you know what the mama has to do this week?
1. I have to empty and wash my kitchen cupboards so that I can rearrange them to hold all of the boxes of tupperware and *stuff* that I cleared off the kitchen floor when I scrubbed it yesterday. It's current location? Blocking access to the bathroom.
2. I have to buy garbage bags so that I can actually put out our garbage this week.
3. I have to write a menu for the four adults and two children who will be at the cottage so everyone knows what we need to buy to eat.
4. I have to go to the bank.
5. I have to go grocery shopping and get all of the food I need.
6. I have to go to the post office to pick up a package waiting for me, and mail a letter to my sister.
7. I have to go to the Public Health Office across town to get prenatal vitamins.
8. I have to drop off my recycling at the depot.
9. I have to clean the bathroom.
10. I have to finish making the soup I started today and freeze it.
11. I have two sets of curtains to hang.
12. I have to paint my son's room and return the painting stuff to my landlord.
13. While I'm talking to him, my bathroom sink isn't draining so I'd better let him know that.
14. I have to finish knitting swatches and gathering supplies to teach my knitting class on the 9th.
15. I have to put the newly cleaned and disinfected exersaucer together.
16. I have to call and thank everyone who gave Samuel gifts last week when we were visiting.
17. I have to email the very nice Catholic missionary I met on the plane.
18. I have to call the doctor's office to arrange an appointment when the ear, nose and throat specialist comes through town.
19. I have to finish the laundry.
20. I have to scrub the garbage pail outside and bring it in.
21. I have to scrub the cat box we were gifted and bring that in.
22. I have to hem my neighbour's son's pants for him for school.
23. I have to buy birthday cards for the September birthday rush.
24. I have to put my baby sling and Snugli on Kijiji.
25. I have to unpack the suitcase from the trip so I can use it again.
26. I have to attend either bible study or a new Mom's group meeting on Thursday.
27. I have to get the information for the strollercise class in town.
28. I have to start pricing photographers in town for our Christmas family photo.
29. I have to start organizing for Samuel's baptism at the end of the month, including asking godparents and ironing his antique gown and ordering a cake.
30. I have to return my library books.
And that's gotta get done this week. Can I faint now or should I wait till someone can catch me?
1. I have to empty and wash my kitchen cupboards so that I can rearrange them to hold all of the boxes of tupperware and *stuff* that I cleared off the kitchen floor when I scrubbed it yesterday. It's current location? Blocking access to the bathroom.
2. I have to buy garbage bags so that I can actually put out our garbage this week.
3. I have to write a menu for the four adults and two children who will be at the cottage so everyone knows what we need to buy to eat.
4. I have to go to the bank.
5. I have to go grocery shopping and get all of the food I need.
6. I have to go to the post office to pick up a package waiting for me, and mail a letter to my sister.
7. I have to go to the Public Health Office across town to get prenatal vitamins.
8. I have to drop off my recycling at the depot.
9. I have to clean the bathroom.
10. I have to finish making the soup I started today and freeze it.
11. I have two sets of curtains to hang.
12. I have to paint my son's room and return the painting stuff to my landlord.
13. While I'm talking to him, my bathroom sink isn't draining so I'd better let him know that.
14. I have to finish knitting swatches and gathering supplies to teach my knitting class on the 9th.
15. I have to put the newly cleaned and disinfected exersaucer together.
16. I have to call and thank everyone who gave Samuel gifts last week when we were visiting.
17. I have to email the very nice Catholic missionary I met on the plane.
18. I have to call the doctor's office to arrange an appointment when the ear, nose and throat specialist comes through town.
19. I have to finish the laundry.
20. I have to scrub the garbage pail outside and bring it in.
21. I have to scrub the cat box we were gifted and bring that in.
22. I have to hem my neighbour's son's pants for him for school.
23. I have to buy birthday cards for the September birthday rush.
24. I have to put my baby sling and Snugli on Kijiji.
25. I have to unpack the suitcase from the trip so I can use it again.
26. I have to attend either bible study or a new Mom's group meeting on Thursday.
27. I have to get the information for the strollercise class in town.
28. I have to start pricing photographers in town for our Christmas family photo.
29. I have to start organizing for Samuel's baptism at the end of the month, including asking godparents and ironing his antique gown and ordering a cake.
30. I have to return my library books.
And that's gotta get done this week. Can I faint now or should I wait till someone can catch me?
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