Coping

Ana of Time Flies When You're Having Babies wrote this post recently, and not only is it funny and so so so true, but I had several additions of my own.

Things I Do To Make Parenting Young Children Easier on Myself


1) I leave my children with either a sitter or their father for an hour every night I can stand it, and I go for a run with other friends of mine. We shuffle along our regular route and just talk about our lives. I do this (this is the key) even if my screaming, drippy, starving offspring need to be peeled off of my body. Then I come home and resume normal activities.

2) I feed everyone supper at the ungodly hour of 4:30pm.  And I put Clara to bed at about 6pm and Samuel to bed at 7:30pm.  Yes, this is early.  Yes, this means my mornings start early.  Yes, very early.  But it's worth it to me to have some evening time before I crash from exhaustion.

I also enforce a nap for Samuel.  Even if he doesn't sleep, he has to stay in bed for an hour.  Quietly.

3)  I take advantage of every offer of help in some way.  If you offer to help me, I will find something for you to do.  If you come over to my house to have a cup of coffee, I will use your presence in the livingroom to go to the bathroom by myself and probably pluck that stray eyebrow hair while I'm in there.  And maybe trim my nails.  But that's it, I swear.

4)  I turn off the television.  We don't have cable but the endless loop of children's dvds drive me crazy.  Instead I force poor Samuel to play with toys quietly.  Toys that don't have batteries.

5)  I listen to adult music in the house.

6)  If I think that someone is feeling sick, I don't wait 'just to see what happens' but immediately give them a dose of ibuprofen.  I also pre-dose before innoculations, even if the child doesn't have a history of getting grouchy or hot afterwards.

7)  On days when David works in the evening, I make a very large lunch and reheat it again as supper for the children and myself.

8)  I keep several activities at the ready for times when I need Samuel to stop. touching. me.  A set of tongs and a glass jar of acorns and an egg carton is one.  Sets of markers and paper is another.  Playdough, stickers, scissors and origami paper to cut into confetti...

9)  I only bathe when David is home to watch the children.  And then I lock the bathroom door.

Sick Day

Aloha from sniffleville.

We're all in low-level misery over here.  For Samuel that means (ohmygoshhelpme) repeated viewings of Toy Story.  Strangely this does not appear to be bothering David in the slightest; that man can sit on the sofa and read theology through anything.

Clara is handling the cold by crying and crying and crying.  And now sleeping.  Aided by mother's little helper, the trusty infant Tylenol.

And I'm reading birth stories online, and trying to squeeze up the desire to play Uno with David.  And coughing delicately whenever the subject of preparing food or cleaning arises.

I have a lot of friends in God's palm at the moment, those with worries and losses and concerns.  It might do me good to be knocked on my behind by this cold for a bit if only to force me to pray through these issues with them.  Isn't it sad that for so many of us, only illness makes us stop long enough to make a concerted prayer effort?  And then there are TWO babies born to women I know now!  This past week!  Both adorable.

Walked Samuel to Bible study today and then to the store and home again.  Unless I give him a solid hour of outdoor activity every day, at least, the child could power a block with his energy.

Mostly it was for raisins, and tea, and oatmeal.  Wow, could that be a sadder grocery list?  Maybe if I said gruel.  Tea and gruel.  And some powdered milk.  Ok, now I'm depressing myself a bit.

I'm going to go and do everything I can to make sure I don't fall asleep.  Because if I go to sleep at 8pm I'm old.

November 8th

Rich beef stew in the stoneware baker in the oven.  Oh I love my stoneware; seriously I think I use it more than anything else in my kitchen.  I'm even thinking of possibly hosting a Pampered Chef party just to get more stoneware.  It's an addiction.  I want this one, oh and this one, oh and THIS one, too.

You know what I'd really like?  If price wasn't at all an option?  This.  Of course I will never be able to afford it, but oh...

Anyway.

The beef stew recipe came from an old cookbook from 1982 called Kitchen Technique: A Complete Guide to Practical Cookery.  It's supposed to be the filling for a pie, but since we're eating as little refined white flour as possible these days, I skipped the pastry part and made it a stew.  It went over really well for lunch.

Feel terribly productive this morning because I finished the quilted placemat I'd promised to make for someone, sewed on the felt monogram this morning, and mailed it off without a problem.  I wish I had a camera right now so that I could have taken a picture.

I've also noticed how observant and prone to mimicking Samuel is becoming.  I want to take advantage of this stage before it passes, and so we're trying little 'dates' to teach social skills.  Today we went to a tea shop to practice how to behave in a restaurant.  Samuel had a hot chocolate and I had a cup of tea and we just had a nice time.  We talked about how once you're on your chair you don't keep hopping off, how if you spill something by accident it's ok, just use your napkin, don't fiddle with the sugar packets, etc.  He was so attentive and sweet and even held the door for me.  After our drink we went to look upstairs from the restaurant where they have a little art gallery, and when we came home that was the part that Samuel wanted to tell David about first; he'd seen pictures.

Our big vegetable pack that I ordered several weeks ago came in today.  It cost $25 but I've split the cost (and the produce) 50/50 with a friend.  The pack is 55lb of carrots, onions, cabbage, potatoes and squash, all locally grown.  Another way we're cutting food costs!  I also ordered us another freezer meat pack, which I'm very excited about.

Look at what I unpacked!

November 6th

The lot beside our house is vacant and grassy.  It's also covered in yellow leaves.  The lady who owns it, in the next house over, has hired/found someone to use a leaf blower on it and clear all the leaves away.  He did this for over an hour this afternoon.  The sound, never ceasing, of a leaf blower is driving me crazy.

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Samuel skipped his nap.  I don't know why, but every few days he goes 'nap-less' and it worries me more with each passing time.  What if nap-less becomes the new normal?  I can't handle that yet.  I love my son, but I need that 1-2 hours of no Samuel time in the middle of the day.

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-Pork roast is in the slow cooker, doing it's thang. 

-About half of the quilts got aired on the line today - it would have been a shame to waste a windy, sunny November day!

-The bedding from our guests is washed and put away.  I feel so productive getting this done as quickly as I did.

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My mother thinks that the diaper rash that Samuel has is caused by uric acid.  She says it will burn the skin; I'm going to strip all of the cloth diapers and put him in disposables in the meantime.  A big of a drag, but if it clears up his bum I'll be happy.

I tried making a sauce for our pasta tonight that would only take the amount of time it takes to boil spaghettini.  I sauteed a mushroom, half a small onion, two cloves of garlic and a bit of oil together and then added about 1/2 cup of pureed veggies, diced tomatoes and some olives.  Then I stirred in a bit of sour cream.  Samuel had thirds, so he must have liked it.

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Moving related tasks accomplished today: washing all of the cleaning cloths leant to us by our landlady so that I could return them.  Emptying another box of books onto our bookshelf in our bedroom.  Breaking down the boxes and bagging the garbage related to the move and bringing them to the curb for garbage day. (This really helped empty the basement - getting rid of empty boxes.)

November 5th

I often feel super guilty about not 'entertaining' Samuel.  I recognize that I'm his main playmate, but honestly I feel so climbed on and over extended some days I just want him to leave me alone.  And then I feel guilty.  Take today, for example.  Samuel has had two walks today.  A friend's older child came over for half an hour and played with him.  Grandma and Grandpa read to him.  I let him 'help' me make pancakes and David and Grandpa let him 'help' outside with the car.  He went out to a restaurant for lunch, had a two hour nap and played tag with me in the basement.  Despite all of this interaction (and that's just what I can remember) I just told him to go somewhere and DO SOMETHING that didn't involve me or the television being on.  And then I feel guilty because I think I should be magically producing an interesting activity for him at any time that he's bored.  Except even typing those words makes me sound like a real patsy.

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I'm trying to cut myself a little slack in terms of how long it's taking to set up and fit into this house.  I want the cats to stop crying already.  I want Samuel to stop freaking out about sleeping in his own room.  I want the two bookcases lying on their sides in my livingroom to just get moved out.  I want my phone to work again and my curtains up and to figure out where the heck I packed every coathanger I own so I can stop getting dressed out of a giant pile of stuff on the floor.

But I can't do these things because these are things that require time.  And despite all evidence to the contrary, I have very little of the sort of time needed for this kind of activity.  I need Clara asleep, because if she's awake she's a ticking time bomb of neediness.  I need Samuel asleep, preferably, or quietly occupied which, haha, almost never happens.  And for many of these things I need David home, and not sleeping, and me not exhausted, and it to be daylight out, and no guests, and a concrete plan in place.

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Clara tried a few new foods today.  So far she's had cauliflower - hated it.  Pumpkin - disliked it but dealt.  Applesauce with cinnamon and vanilla bean - adored it.  Banana - adored it.  Chicken and turkey - both of which she was ambivalent about.  Mashed potato - adored it.  Spinach - meh.  This is pretty much in keeping with Samuel's likes and dislikes.  Everyone is a fan of fruit.

She had a bath in the sink tonight as well, which was incredibly cute.  I don't know why I ever bothered with baby bathtubs for Samuel at the beginning.  All it gave me was a crick in the back.  The sink is the way to go.

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After supper tonight I dragged Samuel out for a walk.  He was worried because it was dark out, and he said he was afraid of the dark.  I have never heard this before; I don't know where it came from.  But anyway, I told him he didn't have to be afraid because I was with him, and Jesus was with him.  He wanted to know where Jesus was.  "He's in your heart."  He thought about that for a moment and then said "Yeah.  He's in my heart.  He can't get out."  I think I may have messed him up theologically.

Last night I finally caved a bit to David's increasingly insistant demands that I *do something* with Samuel's hair.  I've been letting it grow, because I think that his hair is beautiful and soft and golden and charming, and also because that floppity-hair look on little boys is adorable.  And also because I'm a bit lazy.  But two days ago I took pity on Samuel and trimmed some especially long hair that has been hanging in his eyes, and last night after his bath I brushed his hair, realized it was now past his shoulders, and took a few inches off the back with my sewing scissors.  I think he may look even cuter, if that's possible.  And now David can stop going on about that.

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My inlaws are leaving tomorrow.  Whenever they come over they take on the task of doing all the dishes, and can I just say that I love. that.  Because dishes are my least favourite job ever.  But it will be nice to try and get stuff organized in my bedroom again.

A Sunday That Never Ends

Sundays have become my busiest day of the week.  We wake up, run around getting children ready for church, walk (or sometimes take a ride from friends) across town and sit through the services.  Then we walk over to our pastor's house where our life group meets (a small study group that focuses on one specific topic; our church has several of these) and have lunch and then do our study.  Then we walk home.  We're never home before 4pm, and sometimes it's closer to 4:30.

Today was busier than usual because we had a potluck lunch at the pastor's house and so David and I had to make a dish and arange for it's transport so we didn't have to carry a giant casserole through town.  We also tried to tire out Samuel by having me walk him to church, but since David's parents are with us right now he rode with them to show them the way.

On the walk Samuel said some adorable things.  He asked me what a building was at the end of a street.
"That's a grain elevator"  I told him.  "Oh.  A grain elevator.  They bring cows up and down?"  "No, they bring cow food up and down."  I said.  It's so funny the things he thinks.  Later on the walk he saw a tree in someone's yard that had had tar put on the cut branches making them look like holes.  "What's in those holes?"  "Maybe acorns, or squirrels, or leaves?"  I said.  "Maybe sunflowers!"

I feel a little bit guilty every week at church because I put the children in the nursery.  I don't feel terrible, but I do feel a little bad.  Samuel likes it a lot, despite telling me every week that he doesn't want to go; he makes a craft, sometimes gets time in the gym playing with balls, has a snack.  Clara is in the infant class and I know she is in good hands - the workers even give us a pager that will buzz if they need us.  Still.  I feel like the children should be with me even though I know from experience that that makes the service awful for all of us.

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Today's big task; hanging up all of the clothes in the children's bedroom.  I know I've complained about this before, but honestly clothing maintenance takes up so much of my time.  I don't know why this is.  Either I'm just no good at it or else everyone else's children are very unlike my own.  I recently purchased a bag of really nice, barely used 2T-3T clothing for Samuel, including new church shoes.  Almost every single piece of it is either stained beyond use or completely outgrown already.  All of the shoes are too small.  I have salvaged a few pairs of pajamas, two pairs of boots (that I think may just fit for a few more months) and maybe two or three sweaters and a pair of slippers.  His body is the strangest shape.  He's a 2T, except in torso length where he's a 3T, and then he's a mix of 2T - 3T in pants, except that his waist is really more of a 24 month size.  How does one dress a child like that?

Clara may be even worse off.  I have done nothing but accept clothing for her for months and months, and yet I look at what's in the closet that fits her and it's pathetic.  Random pants that match nothing, a few 'church outfits', some sleepers...I get depressed every time I go to dress her. 

I'm really not sure what the solution to this is.  I spent $5 on 40 clothes hangers the other week thinking that maybe if everything was just hung up it would be easier to figure out.  So far, this doesn't seem to be the case.

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David and his parents are re-watching a video we got the other week: The Bible vs. Joseph Smith.  The music is lovely in it.  We get a lot of videos like this from Firefighters For Christ.  It's a free resource and you can download their stuff as MP3s if that's your thing; we tend to order hard copies.

I wish I knew of more places I could get free Christian DVDs from.  Ideas?