It's really been on my heart lately how much I feel obligated to say yes when I'm asked to do something. Strangely enough, I've been reading other blogger's posts that run on a similar vein - maybe it's just the time of year and everyone is feeling the same way. Even so, I've decided to share the techniques I've been using to try and simplify my time management.
1. Remember what and who your priorities are.
If you're like me then chances are you have a whole list of things that are important to you. Your immediate family and extended family, your job, your at-home duties, your church and all of it's obligations, maybe your fitness regime, your health, possibly a hobby or two...there are a multitude of things that call for our attention on a daily basis. I find it helpful to have frequent 'check-ups' with myself, just to review what I've taken on recently and what obligations I have and match those up with what I claim my top priorities are. For example, now that I'm working outside of the home again it's easy to slip into old habits. I was recently offered a job that was right up my alley and frankly, I really wanted to take it. It would have meant more money than I'm making now and a chance to get into a field I've had an interest in for a long time. But it would also have meant being away from home for at least five hours a day for four days a week once I factored in travel time. When I reviewed my priorities I realized that my vocation as a wife, mother and keeper of my home isn't negated just because I need to take a job right now. My first responsibility is to my family and all that entails, and so I turned the job down.
Only plan for one *big* task per day
If I work on a certain day then I don't plan anything else *big* for that day. Same goes for the day I have to host a supper, or the day I know I have ten loads of laundry to do, or the day I'm scrubbing my oven and cleaning out my fridge. This is completely intentional because I'm prone to a version of 'eyes bigger than my stomach' when it comes to jobs. I think I can handle that laundry and a trip to the grocery store and cleaning out my closet etc. etc. but if I plan it all in one day I know, from past experience, that I'll get overwhelmed and cranky.
Categorize your obligations.
I've just started doing this but I have to tell you it has made a big difference in my stress level. I took a look at the areas in my life that require something from me and then I limit the amount of time I give to those areas of secondary importance. In a way, this is a natural progression from rule #1; remembering your priorities. Once you know what matters the most, you'll probably still have any number of obligations that still require some time even if they aren't as important as your number one priorities. Using me as an example; my first priorities are keeping the house running, attending church Sunday morning and investing in my family. Those are things I need to do every day, several times a day, and that require the majority of my time and energy. But they aren't my entire life, so I need to look at my secondary (and even tertiary, if your life is really hectic) responsibilities and manage how much time I'll allot to each. For me, that means investing in my church and community by focusing on one activity in each of those areas. I sit on a local board of directors, so that is my community involvement time. I was recently asked if I would lead a bible study for young mothers and as much as I want to do that, I know that it would be adding another community obligation to my schedule and would take away from home and family life, my first priorities. Likewise with church; I think it's important to be involved in some aspect of church life so I will be volunteering my time as a Sunday school teacher twice a month. I always enjoyed attending a mid-week bible study at another church in our area, but I've decided to stop attending so I can focus on Sunday school. The same goes for hobbies and interests. For me, my Thursday night knitting group gives me valuable fellowship and I really like it. If I wanted to, say, join the local gym and take an aerobics class or start attending an art class I would want to re-think my involvement in knitting. Is knitting what I'd like to do for my hobby or would I rather go to aerobics?
As I have been trying to focus on domestic vocation and all that that entails I often feel pulled in many directions. It seems as though everyone wants or needs something from me. At first I felt really awful saying no to people, especially when I felt like I had the skills to help them. I would convince myself that I could squeeze stuff in there somewhere, and then I would take on a project and either be unable to finish it, or unable to finish it to my satisfaction. And then I'd feel resentful, because I would like my word to be my bond. The bible states that our word should be enough; we shouldn't swear by something, and yet by allowing myself to be torn in so many directions my word wasn't enough. You couldn't count on me to call you back if I said I would, or the three days I needed to pray about something turned into a week, or the lesson plan I said I'd handle turned from a creative and inspiring piece of work to me bringing play-doh and cookies in for the kids to entertain themselves. I had become the equivalent of those Jesus colouring pages Sunday school teachers use when they didn't prepare a lesson. I was scraping by. And that wasn't enough.
You might find that you, too, could use some judicious editing of activities. Let me know how it goes!
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