The great SAHM discussion continues

Wow, so, is anyone still reading these?  I mean, talk about mental diarrhea, which is a very unpleasant visual...

Yesterday at work I had an unexpected (but very nice) visit from the treasurer, who wanted to know what my plans were regarding whether I was/was not returning to my job after the baby was born.  There was a lot of humming and hawing on my side, and a lot of gentle, insistent questioning on hers, which essentially boiled down to:  'you're going to have to give us something to go with here, Amy, since we need to know if we're hiring someone, if we're training a volunteer (or, more likely, several volunteers to handle what I manage in a week) if we're going to pile this on the rector or what.'

And, while this was perfectly reasonable to ask, and in fact was expected and anticipated, I still felt anxious and slightly backed into a corner for an answer.  I tried, as nicely as possible, to explain that A) I was an idiot and keeping that in mind B) I don't know.

So, um...eventually we decided on a 'trial' of sorts.  I would take the Summer of 2012 off, which would give me four months after the birth.  During this time I would see how things went, and so would the church, and if in September we both agreed that I could handle the workload again and they still felt they needed me, I would return, albeit probably by working at home.

It was the chicken's way out, for me at least.  I KNOW I want to be at home, but at least this way I have an 'out' on the off chance that I can't make it work.  If I truly cannot manage without my salary, well, I can figure it out later, right?