"So how about you? If you have a good marriage, what made you decide to take the plunge?"
That's a really good question! Actually, it's such a good question that I'm not even certain I have an answer to it, but I have an idea.
The first thing that attracted me to David was his looks. I was 23, atheist, home 'for a year' (that turned into four! ha!) from college and just starting a brand new job. That first day I walked in, there he was, and I thought "that man is cute!" The next thing, which happened almost immediately after the first thing, was that I noticed how nice he was. Not boring nice, but nice nice. Genuinely kind and sweet, and that was very different from the boys I had known in the past. Those two traits were pretty much all I knew about him for almost five months, because the third, most noticeable, personality trait of David was that he was shy. So, so shy. It didn't help that my boss at the time confused "Methodist" with "Mormon" and told me he was the latter, thus starting my first (and only) soul-searching on my personal stance on Mormonism! Because, oh, I liked this guy so much. So much. SO MUCH.
And what was even more amazing to me was that he liked me so much, too. He was cute, and nice, and quiet and sweet...and he liked me? Me? I am not quiet, and I was not very sweet at that point, and although I could probably have passed for cute I think a more likely description would have been 'rumpled'. I wore a lot of jeans, if I remember correctly. It was strange, though, how quickly we started talking about children and families and marriage after just a few dates. It was easy, not embarassing or nerve-wracking as it had been in the past. It was like we already knew that everything was going that way, and so we were just sort of 'checking in' with each other on technicalities.
So I knew he was the one because of how I felt around him, as though I had always been with him. And I liked how he liked me so much, as much as I liked him, so there wasn't some sort of 'I love you more than you love me' sort of oddness to the relationship. I also knew because we had the same goals. And when, several years into our relationship, I became a Christian, I knew because the thought of anyone but David being the head of our household left me cold. He was the priest of this family before the family even came into being.
But ultimately there were two major things that made me 'know'. The first was, it was easy to love him. Not to say that we didn't argue or anything, but the relationship wasn't a hard, upward slog all of the time. He didn't drain the energy out of me. Being with him felt right, and simple, and straightforward, and easy to do. The second thing was that when I looked into my future, I couldn't see it without him. I know that sounds cliched, but it's true. I couldn't imagine sleeping beside someone else, I couldn't imagine eating across from someone else, I couldn't imagine getting up in front of God and saying 'I do' with anyone but David. My mind went blank when I searched it for any images of another man. David was it. This was it.
We were both so nervous on our wedding day! But it wasn't the nervousness of someone uncertain about their choice, I was nervous because I wanted it done. I wanted the paper signed and the vows spoken and the going away outfit donned so that I could get away from all of these people and spend time with David. My best friend. The other night he called me that: "Amy, you're my best friend" and I thought 'yes, this is how you know. Not once, but a million little times. Every time you wake up, all over again.'
How about you?
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