At around 1am this morning I woke up with searing stomach pain which, at it's worst, felt like labour. I moved around the house restless with pain, finally running hot water into the bath and going to sleep in it for over an hour. I know, don't sleep in the bath, but don't worry I've slept with a baby for a year, I understand the whole sleeping-but-not-soundly method. I didn't drown. Then I tried a makeshift hot water bottle, Pepto Bismol (which shows how desperate I was since it actually said not to take if nursing), drinking warm water, etc. It was over three hours before the pain subsided enough for me to fall into a sleep from which I was wakened, every thirty minutes or so, by my son elbowing me in the stomach. David took the baby for the morning and walked to Walmart to buy yogurt, and then I attempted a grocery trip that resulted in my having to rest on the side of the butter cooler for a bit until the waves of awfulness passed. At first I thought, food poisoning? But I hadn't eaten anything that someone else hadn't also eaten so my guess is it's a bug. Let's all pray the baby doesn't get it.
And now I'd like to talk to you about the Easter bunny.
David announced cheerfully the other day that he thought we should go home for Easter. Home is, while not faaaarrrrr away, about a 15 hour drive or an overnight train trip or half a day spent in the airport, depending on your preferences and budget. Seeing as both of our families live there, along with a good many friends, we'd love to go back to visit. Easter seemed good, we could combine business with pleasure and visit a church we've been looking into for a while, hoping they might need us once David gets licensed, and then we could spend the rest of the week visiting and taking lots of photos.
So I called my mom to let her know and boy was she excited. "Oh, Easter! Hey, Samuel could have the Easter bunny here!" she exclaimed. "Well, sure, mom, I mean if you want to that's fine." She must have heard some hesitation in my voice and said "Well, you guys are okay with the Easter bunny, right?" I assured her that although David and I would probably not be Easter bunny folk we didn't have a problem with it being something the children did at Granny and Grumpa's house.
But after I hung up I felt a little guilty. I certainly hadn't meant to imply to my mother that her excitement over an Easter egg hunt was misguided. I don't have a problem with Easter egg hunts or anything like that, and for all I know we might start a tradition of egg hunts or Easter baskets or a new church outfit or something with our children.
Actually our feelings about holidays are, I think, pretty simple. I believe that the focus of the holiday should be on what the holiday is actually about. Rituals, traditions and whatever should try and stay on that theme as much as possible. Anything that is simply encouraging unhappiness should be cut, and whatever figures you choose to incorporate into your celebration should be used as a source of fun and not seriously.
So, take Easter, since we're talking about it. I'm not going to tell Samuel that there is actually an Easter bunny. Because there is not actually an Easter bunny. However the reason children love the idea of the Easter bunny is not because he really exists (because honestly the thought of a giant, sentient rabbit who can break into your house is terrifying) but because his existence means chocolate and finding lots of eggs. Will our children have egg hunts? I can't see why not. Will there be chocolate? Oh, you'd better believe there will. Will I pretend that a huge rodent delivered it? Nope. Easter is about the death and resurrection of Christ. Chocolate is nice, but not the focal point of the holiday, and any interesting sidelines like painting eggs or whatever, while certainly welcome, will be set aside if it looks like they threaten to overtake the main event.
And when I say 'things that encourage unhappiness' I mean entitlement issues. I'm just fine with painting eggs and getting a chocolate bunny in a basket on Easter morning and what have you, but we're going into the ministry and money, which has never been lavish around here, is not going to become any less tight in the next few years. There might be an Easter when those things, chocolate, toys, new clothes, etc., are not present. There will never be an Easter when we don't go to church. So as much as possible I want to focus on the aspects of the holidays that don't end up being disappointing. If it's all about the big morning egg hunt, and that egg hunt doesn't happen, then what's it all about?
I don't feel like we're going about this in an illogical way, but I do realize that our faith plays a big role in our decisions regarding child rearing. Maybe I'm scarring my child irrevocably by refusing to play along with the Big Bunny theory. We didn't have a present from Santa under the tree this year for Samuel, either, but he was really too young to understand. What about the tooth fairy? Do we 'do' the tooth fairy? Exhausting.
How do you handle these things?
3 comments:
Hi there.
We do Easter candy for the kids, but, like Santa, we tell the kids the Easter Bunny isn't real...and that the real reason for the holiday is about Jesus (birth for Christmas, and death/resurrection at Easter). We try to keep things simple, and not focused on "stuff" and commercialism.
The Tooth Fairy, we do play with a bit, but I think my daughter knows that it's me...because the "Tooth Fairy" left her a note using my paper and sort of my handwriting. That one is more benign, in my opinion, because there's no holiday, there's no religious significance to it, etc. etc. Kids like to pretend and imagine...they're only little for so long. So the Tooth Fairy is on, but I'm quite sure she knows that it's us.
My kids were at DisneyWorld in January, with us, on a family trip. We didn't go out of our way to sit down and explain to them that all the princesses & characters were not real, but people dressed up...they kind of knew that, but it was fun to see them be in the imaginary world and the real world too...does that make sense to you?!! :)
1. We have Santa, because Santa is real. He was Saint Nicolas, and he was known for his generosity toward his neighbors, and that's what we concentrate on. We talk about how the saints are our examples of how to be disciples, and we should all act like Santa, who was acting like Christ.
2. We don't have the Easter Bunny. We do egg hunts, the kids get a small gift, but it's from us. They've asked once, and I looked at them and said, "Easter Bunny? What's that got to do with anything?"
3. Tooth Fairy, yes. But that's the creepiest one of all. And what to do with all those teeth? With five babies, I'll have enough teeth to pave my driveway.
Cari, speaking of creepy I am the proud possessor of a little plastic container holding my baby teeth, courtesy of my mother, who saves that sort of thing. Now what? She played on my inability to throw away 'memories' and won!
Post a Comment