Am really tired. I really just want to go to sleep and sleep straight through the night one night. Well, I'm ok with nursing, but a reasonable amount. Clara has recently decided she does not want to sleep in her little rocking basinette thing beside our bed. She doesn't like it anymore. So this is fine, but it means that until we get back into our master bedroom (David's parents are staying there right now) we can't set up the portable crib, which is the 'next stage' my babies go through, and instead she is sleeping with us.
My friends can tell you how I feel about sharing my bed with children. I. don't. like. it. This is a personal thing; I have many people in my life who bed share with great success and happiness, but I am not one of those people. I like to sleep not touching anything, and on my stomach, and slightly star-fishy, and sleeping with children is not conducive to this. Therefore they sleep, and I lie in a cramped position trying not to breathe so as to not wake them.
So yes, the portable crib. She'll go into that until she isn't waking regularly to feed throughout the night, about a year or so, and then she'll go into the 'big' crib. It's all about stages.
But Clara is not the only one unhappy at night these days, with her constant nursing and grouchiness. Samuel is not having good overnights either. He's up in the wee hours almost every night and climbing in with us. I'm not sure why this is but I do know that he kicks a lot, and thrashes about hitting Clara in the head and waking her up, and kicking the cats and my legs and just generally being a very unpleasant person to share a bed with.
Two unhappy sleepers. It wouldn't be so bad if they would nap simultaneously. Because then I could put them down for naps and I could sleep for a few hours as well. But usually Clara is tired and sleeps, and then when she wakes up Sam is tired, and then a third switch. No sleep for Mama. For a terrifying few days I thought Samuel was actually dropping his last nap, which would be horrific. I need that nap. That's my break from a toddler. But of course it wouldn't be unusual for him to stop needing an afternoon nap - he is going to be 2 years and 8 months old. But still. Clara, thankfully, shows signs of being an excellent napper. Two solid naps a day. They've gone down a bit in length since birth but she's six months old. How is that possible?
Speaking of which, I went to the doctor for something the other day and he asked about Clara and then said "Six months. Time for another one." Ohmygoodness. I think I laughed and made some lame joke.
Wait, I was going to say something else about bedsharing. It's funny the difference between the mother I feel I would be if the children were personality free and the mother I am. I would not, for example, share my bed. But my children have other ideas. I would not probably be nursing an almost three year old, that's for sure. Speaking of which, the weaning is going very well. Samuel is down to nursing once a day. He's being pretty good about it. I think he'd still nurse all the time if he could, but he's content enough with what he's offered. Clara is eating a wee little bit of solid food now, so she's thrilled with life. Oh mashed banana, where have you BEEN all my life?
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