Clara's Birth Story - Part Three

I remember at this point asking David if he thought we should opt for a c-section.  It's easy to beat myself up about this thought now; now that I'm through it, but the reality at the time was that I was in a lot of pain and the medications I had access to didn't seem to be working.  If that had been all, I probably could have dealt with it for a little while longer, but after 15-16 hours in the hospital, knowing that I was only as dilated as I was when I arrived, and that these one on top of another contractions were just the possible beginning of labour, that was too much to handle.

We agreed to a c-section rather than risk the epidural, and the subsequent pitocin and probable c-section that would stem from those interventions.  The doctor was called in to explain the surgury to me, and left to get the paperwork.  I was told to get up on the table to have my blood drawn and an IV put in.  As I was mentally preparing myself to move from David's arms to the table (every movement brought another peak of pain), I had a contraction that 'pushed' a little bit at the end.

It was nothing, I told myself.  It was probably my body freaking out over this and trying to go to the bathroom or something.  I eased myself onto the table, lying half off the side as I tried to straighten up.  The nurse was saying something to me about drawing blood, and she jabbed me in the wrist.  Then another contraction.  And this one...

This one was the kicker.  It peaked, it started to come down, and all of a sudden I was pushing harder than I thought was possible.

"I'm pushing!"  I yelled at the nurse.

"What?" she said.  "WAIT!  Wait, hold on, I have to check you!"

But this wasn't happening.  It had taken twenty minutes, maybe, to go from 3cm to this.  I heard her say something, to someone, somewhere (everything got very very fuzzy) that she thought I was 7cm, but she didn't know, and we needed a doctor.

He appeared from somewhere and after checking again (and being screamed at by me a little bit) said "No, no, Amy, you're 10cm."

Events are hazy around here.  I remembered sobbing that I wanted that c-section, that I wanted that pain medication, that I wanted ANYTHING AT ALL. But then I was pushing again...I remember getting an IV in my hand.  I remember being told they gave me Fentanyl, and I remember that it did nothing.  I remember they brought me a mirror to see my daughter being born.  I remember David saying "Oh my gosh she's HERE!"

There was the usual unpleasantness at the end.  And then they all left the room, and left David and I with Clara.  She was so perfect.

And there you have it.  No chemical induction, no epidural, no c-section.  Not through anything I did, but only by the grace of God.