Creating A Different Ending - Part 3

This is a longer story than I thought it would be, but as soon as I started writing I just felt that a number of things needed to be said to make all of the issues 'clear'.  I hope they are clear, but I think a number of factors still need some explanation.

To recap, I found myself turning 31 and holding a general BA in English in my hand, which had turned out to A) be a degree that I wasn't all that excited about and B) give me no help real help whatsoever in finding a job I loved.

Fortunately I didn't jump head first into more debt and MORE school in an attempt to 'fix' the situation.  Instead I sat back and thought about it.  The process went something like this:

Me 1:  Ok, so what's the problem?
Me 2:  My degree sucks and I don't want to work at this kind of job.  I feel unfulfilled.
Me 1:  Is work the only element of your life?
Me 2:  Well, no.  I think my vocation is to be a wife and a mother, and I want to stay home and do that.
Me 1:  Do you need a degree for that?
Me 2:  No.  I don't need a degree for that.  However I still feel a nagging sense of unfulfillment.
Me 1:  And you've prayed about this and truly feel what?
Me 2:  I truly feel that God has created me for my primary vocation, but also for several secondary vocations.  One of which is clearly some sort of work besides being a stay-at-home mama.
Me 1:  Ok, so then that would explain your sense of being unfulfilled.  If you are not living the life that God fully created you for, then you will never be completely satisfied.

Once I realized that my sense of being 'not done' with my education stemmed from something larger than myself I felt much calmer and more at peace with the feeling.  I had been previously thinking the situation through as an 'all or nothing' sort of deal.  Either I was a mama, or I was a student.  Either I was a good housekeeper or I was a good employee.  I realized that there was the possibility in my life for many smaller goals and interests, and once I came to that conclusion I felt much better.

I also, through looking closely at my discomfort and the whys and wherefores surrounding it, came to grasp what the big problem was.  The programs I had been looking at matched my previous mindset in intensity.  They were all or nothing programs, requiring vast amounts of money, time and resources that would take me away from my primary vocation.  I was FIRSTLY created to be a mother and a wife. I was SECONDARILY created to be a student/employee/etc.  I could accept that in my future there may be other goals, other vocations, other things God might lay on my heart, but my first and foremost priority, and therefore the aspect of my life through which I should view all other aspects, was my primary vocation.

In other words, I couldn't ever be happy doing something that interferred with what I was supposed to be focused on.

I'm going to leave it at that for now.  If you want to read more about my journey to discovering my primary vocation, you can here, here, and here, to start with.  There is also a tab called 'domestic vocation' on my sidebar.