How we use Baby Carriers

I had a rocky start in the parenting world; I felt very overwhelmed, under-prepared and generally incompetant.  I vividly remember sitting in my livingroom after David went back to work (when Samuel was one week old) and looking at this baby and crying.  All I could think was "Now what?  What do I do with this child every day for the rest of my life?"  I had an image in my mind, you see, of a baby who needed things from me, but I had no idea what those things were.  Beyond food and a clean bottom, the occasional bath and warmth, I was lost.  In hindsight, it was probably due largely to the fact that I hadn't seen parenting modeled very much while I was growing up.  My younger sister is only 4.5 years younger than I am, and so by the time I was old enough to remember her care, she was beyond infancy.  I didn't see a lot of babies being cared for, and although I read the books, in the 'heat of the moment' I was lost.  What kind of cry was that?  What does he need from me?  Is this rash/funny smell/odd looking bruise/funny eye tic something to worry about/call the emergency room for/bring David home from work for?

And so I found myself doing what turned out to be the very best thing, following my instincts.  Rather than obeying the books or the experts or the well-meaning friends, I just did what felt right.  And for me, that meant a lot of carrying Samuel around.  My first carrier was a wrap-style stretchy fabric carrier from Monkeywear, a Canadian company.  I slept in it, I wore it all day, every day, without a shirt on underneath so that I could nurse constantly.  Samuel and I just stayed attached all day and night.  It got to the point where David would have customers come up to him at work and ask if his wife was the one 'with the baby in that thing on her front'.  Yes, David would say, that's her.

David wore Samuel when I didn't, in a handmade silk sling-style carrier.  The two of them walked everywhere  together, one tucked up against the other's heart.

When Samuel was about 6 months old, we tried a Snuggli carrier, which didn't make either of us happy, and then on a friend's suggestion we got a Beco Butterfly.  The Beco is great, and it got rid of the back pain I was having from carrying a heavy 6 month old around all day in a sling.  We don't really use it anymore, but when we needed it, it was invaluable.  At the moment of purchase I was debating between a Beco and an Ergo.  The Mei Tai had been in the running, but ultimately I pushed it aside because of the lack of weight distribution with my body structure.  The Ergo came in an organic fabric version, and it felt a bit more padded and comfortable on, but ultimately the swaying vote came from knowing that my friend had had great success with the Beco, plus we had the option of buying a Beco floor model, which would be about $100 cheaper.

With another baby, I will probably buy an Ergo and another wrap style carrier in a non-stretchy fabric, so that it won't sag with increased weight.  The Beco has its drawbacks; you can't forward face a child on your front, the snap-on head covers don't completely keep the head pressed against you, it doesn't come with an easy to use blanket or rain shield attachement, I have trouble unhooking the top clasp to get Samuel on my back by myself and sometimes the straps get all twisted.  On the other hand there is an infant insert for little babies, the head cover rolls up and stores in a carry-on pocket, the baby is in a fabric 'seat' inside the carrier to prevent accidents and it's super easy to use.  Plus you can nurse in it.

These days, at almost 15 months, Samuel still fits fine in the Beco and will happily be carried, but he likes to walk on his own.  He also like to sit in his umbrella stroller, a new development for us, and touch things as we walk past.  Because he seems happier not carried, and he's heavy enough to make carrying tiring, we don't tend to use the carriers much anymore.  Sometimes, on a really bad night or in flu-season, they come out again and Mama walks around with a little boy strapped to her, but we've mostly passed that stage now.

And that's how we use baby carriers.